As most of my readers will know and friends, that today was the court case, for the death of my cousin and her husband. I did originally say I wouldn’t mention it anymore here, but I am doing so that in particular friends who I see, I hope will read this before I see them next, or before they next text. It makes it easier that what I have to say, to just say it the once than say it say six times, because between now and Monday, I will be talking about it I know on two, or possibly three occasions.
Since last year, when I first learnt of their deaths via social media, (which I will never forget,) there have been different rumours circulating. Now most of these rumours, except for one, I did not believe. I believed in this one particular rumour that an ex work colleague told me, because of hearing the accident was very bad and because of how I read via social media how a paramedic was greatly affected by it. But this rumour turned out to be false too and this rumour greatly affected me, more so than I realised after learning the full truth today.
So to cut it short:
- No, my cousin, or her husband did not lose any limbs. (This was what affected me and so relieved to hear they did not lose any limbs.)
- No passengers ran off. There were two passengers with the driver.
- It has been proven that he did not speed. (Something I thought he had.)
- The driver was not under the influence of alcohol, or drugs.
- The driver was not using his mobile phone.
These are the facts. I don’t want to hear anything else, or talk about this case in detail again, as there will be a couple of people, or three who don’t have internet, that I may end up talking to about, to share these true facts and squash those rumours. What you read here, is what you get. So please my lovely friends who I will see one day soon again, please don’t raise this subject. I need to come to terms with how I am feeling and provide my self-care, as well as privacy and respect for all families concerned. ( I will share my feelings at the end of this post.) I need to have my quiet time in between what is already planned, between now and when I next see you. Where I have days free this coming week, these will be for just me.
The driver, although banned from driving for five years, he says he will never drive again. He has said also that he has never forgotten that day and never will.
Now I am not going to go anymore much into what has been said, other than he does not have a jail sentence. He had court fees to pay today and he has so many hours of community service.
Originally, regardless if he was showing remorse, or not, I was all 100% set seeing him do 10 years for each person. When I realised this was not happening, I totally broke down. But also, I struggled to hear what was being said in court, even on loop.
The woman involved in the case for us, after filling us all in, filled me in.
The police who were there, filled me and sometimes even had one-to-one chats with me in a private room. When the police knew a bit more about me, one thought it would be best to speak with the person who did the investigating at the crime scene. So as we chatted, he shown me photos taken at the crime scene and explained what they did, to test the theory of what speed he was going at and all the other evidence they had. All this shown that he definitely did not go over the 60mph limit on that road, but the bend and how the road is, he had got caught out with how the car would start to drag, because how the road is shaped that the water drains off. There is a word for this and I have come across these types of roads in driving lessons I once had, that you have to watch your speed on,to avoid the car going in the opposite direction you want it to be. So as he did not have much driving experience, the police said he would have gone and panicked with his steering wheel, trying to correct it quickly, which in turn, you just lose your car.
My cousin and her husband were walking on the pavement they worked out and they died instantly.
When I attended the court today, it was to hear the facts and as I have already mentioned, I realise I have been affected more than I originally thought, after learning no one lost a limb. I was so relieved to hear they hadn’t and broke down more. The police have really tried to squash that rumour, but it obviously still went around. I may be relieved, but I am angry for the fucking people who started this and gossiped this. I felt sick to the core when I first heard this one and now I felt sickness due to the relief and emotion of all today, in court.
After speaking with the police in much more detail than I share here, my feelings I first had where I wanted to see him land up in prison has dropped to 10%. I do understand where they are coming from that he is serving a life sentence and that he doesn’t deserve that jail sentence, but yes, that 10% of me still thinks he should, but changed as to maybe he should have had the 6 months in jail that he narrowly missed. But I know that 10% of me will one day disappear. I can see he is remorseful and I can see he is suffering.
Being in court helped me for the reasons I needed to be there, as painful as it is.
I am hoping after filling in with my mum on this today, that she can move on. Going by her reactions, I think she is.
I feel drained from today and after this post airs, I will be having my self-care and quietness that I need to do. But I will be fine. So please be aware, your comments may take some time to show, or me replying.