Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

As I talked about in Chit-chat October, I knew that I was a sensitive person, but as being a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ (HSP) was new to me. I looked up further about HSP, after a reader commented how she was a HSP and wondered if I was. I googled the film/documentary she mentioned and then I visited another website on the topic. I could see from further reading of both the website and book I have bought, “The Highly Sensitive Person,” by Elaine N. Aron, Ph. D, that I am a HSP. I continue to work through this book, as said in Chit chat October, so I’m sure I will discuss things I am learning, in future posts here. There are some things I either remember, or remembering, which I am processing and I now look at differently, for the better. As some of my memories are from childhood, I may at times have to practice extra self-care. But I am fine as I do this, because I have the tools to do it, learnt from therapy, as well as additional I learnt, that worked for me.

I will leave you with website link I visited and read more on this topic.

https://hsperson.com

 

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?

Life is a rollercoaster

I’m sure like me, you have heard the phrase “life is like a rollercoaster.” This past year, I feel I can use this phrase. Lots of things have happened, that have been good and bad. I have had to give myself extra self-care more than normal, which for a while has been on a daily basis. After my emotional week recently, that I talked about in this post; “Feeling emotional,” I have had to make sure I do keep giving myself self-care, appropriate for the situation.
Some self-care I have been doing is spending lots of time at the library this week. This will continue into next week on free days I will have, prior to work. I am out of internet as well, until the 4th October, so I am taking advantage of their WiFi too.
Some days have been colouring, or doodling, as I recently shared in a post.
At work, before work starts, I sit in a place away from others on odd days, for some quiet.

Anxiety has creeped in the last couple of days, but I feel I have it under control with slow deep breaths, touching things that help me relax and drinking tea, or hot chocolate.

This morning, while at the library, I chose to quickly flick through a book that caught my eye. The book was called, “Courage, 50 Mindfulness and Relaxation Exercises to Improve Your Confidence,” by Dr. Arlene K. Unger. Flicking through the book I see I am either doing some of these things already, or something I plan to do next.
But there was one thing that caught my eye in particular. I thought I would share it here with you, because I know there are readers like me that write either on their blog, or in a journal what they are grateful for the day and I thought you might be interested. I see it as something we could all give a go at, whether you practice gratitude, or not.
Would you like a challenge? Then keep reading.

This excerpt is from page 71, of the book:

“Write the alphabet on a sheet of paper. For each letter, challenge yourself to come up with something to be grateful for. (When you get to X and Z, just find something that contains those letters rather than words that start with them.)”

So are you going to have a go, with this challenge?

If you do, then when you have a go, either write yours for in a comment in this post.
Or if you are going to write this challenge up on your own blog, then tag this actual post.
Please , if you do tag me, that you make sure you tag using this post and not the whole of my blog, because that way I won’t miss your post. (Realistically, I shouldn’t.) Past challenges where I have found people to have joined in have not tagged me this way and I only happened to have spotted that they had joined in because I was scrolling in my reader far enough. I could have so easily missed.

I will share mine, once I have done it, in a separate post.

Feeling emotional

For the last few days on and off, I have been feeling emotional. Last night, it came in a big wave and I got up this morning when I woke up, so it meant I lied in bed longer than usual, this morning.
This morning I still feel tearful and not good, but I have come out to the library to use their WiFi and for distraction.
It will be a year on 14th October since losing my cousin; Sandra and her husband; Michael, to a careless driver. I have a post that will air that afternoon, that I have written just a couple of days ago.
It doesn’t seem a year that they will be gone, but then it had been dragged on from last year with everyone looking into this, followed by court this year.

I did not think I would expect a big wave of emotions like this again, but with happy memories of Miley my cat I was thinking of, that departed from this world in March, along with moving at some point in October, I suppose it was to happen.

This year has been a mixture of highs and lows for me and the year has just flew by more than any other. I have had a lot to take in this year, but as my afternoon post will express, on the 14th October, I have a lot to look forward to when I move. I am also positive on the year ahead to come.

The time I especially felt valued and loved

As much as my childhood being hard, I knew mum loved me, even if I don’t remember much hugs from her. But I knew she cared and worried. (Mum still worries now.)
But the time I especially felt valued and loved, was starting from my 30’s, when I moved out for the second time, to live on my own. This was when the hugs just came out of nowhere. It shocked me at first, as I wondered what was going off, seeing a side of my mum I had not seen before. But I did not shun the hugs. Now, it just seems natural for us both, to hug.
Every time we meet up, when it comes to departing our separate ways, we hug as well as saying I love you. With every hug, I see mum’s face beaming and her eyes sparkling, along with her smile.

Mum’s hugs extend also to my friends, when she sees them. They get the same hug as me. 😊

I hope as it looks to me, that it feels natural for my mum, when she hugs.

I just wanted to give you an update, after my earlier post today.

Mentally I am better, but the tiredness is still there.

I felt that tired today on getting up this morning, that I just wanted to stay on the settee all day and night and not move. That’s until I made myself move, as I said in that earlier post; “A slow start.”
When I made myself move and got dressed, I went into town to buy a book, from Pets At Home, followed by a pot of tea, in a cafe on the way back.
It just felt like hard work to walk, like I had no energy and I really don’t know how I managed it at work tonight.

In the afternoon, before I went to work, I sat with my feet up and read the book I bought, which was a guinea pig book. Although I know some care details on guinea pigs, I wanted a book on the topic, whether I end up with one myself, or not.

Tonight, when I have had my camomile tea and had my cob with a cuppa soup, I shan’t be long to bed.

I plan to have a lazy day tomorrow and I am not going anywhere, until it’s time for work.
The plan is to put on a face mask while soaking in the bath, followed by a scented moisturiser that I find a relaxing smell.

Thank you to everyone that left messages in my previous post and also personal messages. Xx

A slow start

Last night, once home after work, I started to feel a bit down. I was also tired.

I have woken up this morning to still feeling very tired and slightly unmotivated.
After allowing myself to be in my PJ’s and fleecy bathrobe, for comfort and just to be still, after breakfast, for a further hour, I pushed myself to get moving after.

I don’t know why I am feeling like this.
Maybe it is because I realise the last few days I will be unable to afford a holiday next year. As much as I have my savings in my ISA, I can’t touch that while I continue to be in private housing. With Christmas creeping up, I still have a few presents left to buy and some money for those who I am just giving money to, to put on one side, I may have to dip into my savings I have for ‘experiences and the unexpected fund.’
Maybe it is because of feeling for a work colleague, who has lost a family member.
Maybe it is just one of my days, as I call it.

Knowing the unexpected pressure I gave myself before, (which I talked about here,) I am taking the pressure off saving for a holiday next year. If it happens, then great, it happens.
Sure, if I can save, I will. But if I decide to dip in like today and go out for a cuppa and treat myself to a book, I will.
I am living for today. I am living now, in the moment.

Reflections since as the healing journey continues

Come this Friday, it will be two weeks since the court case. (Post here on that for new followers to my blog, or in case you missed it.) As I said in this post, my painful healing journey starts.
The first week was very painful and dark. Towards the end of that week, I started to laugh with the ladies at work, whether banter was started by them, or at times, myself. But laughing was painful. I could feel deep pain inside me, even though I was laughing. As you know from the second post link, if you have read this before, I had a day trip to Twycross Zoo and I had to make myself go. Even when I was there, I found after a couple of hours that I really wanted to go home, until I hung around the monkeys, watching them. They helped pass the time with their antics and made it a little more bearable. But by the afternoon I really wanted to go and I was outside the zoo till the coach arrived.

After my day trip at Oxford last Saturday, I felt more relaxed I noticed and I felt like I had a holiday for a week, not a day trip,because I felt so refreshed. So I think this was where my moods changed for the better.

There are times I am hit by waves unexpectedly. Each a different size wave from the other, with the occasional dark cloud. I am feeling a little emotional as I write this. I know getting over this will take time, because I have been through difficult times before and I got through them.

As I think more about the person who’s careless driving caused their deaths. As much as I know he is suffering and never will forget that day, I still think he should have had a jail sentence. Not the ten years for each person as originally I felt, but the six months he narrowly missed. But this cannot be changed.

I heard from the local Councillor. He plans to email me back with a full detailed response later, but until then, he felt also best to email me now with something in short. I will share these responses later in a post of its own after, hearing from him later.