Featured

Book giveaway time

book cover of Depression is a liar by Danny Baker

Book giveaway time and this time I am giving away one book of the following; “Depression is a liar,” by Danny Baker.
You will remember last month that I did a book review of this. For those that missed it, you will find it here.
This book was passed on to me and now I would like to pass it on. So if you would like this book, then continue reading, to find out how to enter in this giveaway.

If you would like this book, then please email me on:

liz.myjourney@gmail.com making sure in the subject header of the email you write “Depression is a liar.”
You do not need to give me address at this point. I will ask for your address, should your name be drawn.

I will keep his giveaway open until 22nd August 2018, 9am UK time.

Later on that day, when it closes, (or the next day,) if quite a few have entered, I will put all names into a bag and draw one name out. (The name will be announced in a new post, when they have informed me where to post their book.)

If no one has entered, this book will just be put in a donation bag I have one side for a charity shop. (I will mention also in a blog post if it turns out this happened.)

  • This giveaway is open to everyone, regardless where you live.
  • The winner will be notified by email and they will have 7 days to reply by, letting me know of their name and full address of where they would like to send me this book. Please make sure you give full address, i.e. USA, Canada etc… so I can address and post the book correctly, should your name be drawn out.
  • Once I have an official winner, I will announce later, in a new blog post their name and blog link, if they have a blog and I will update at the end of this post too.
  • As always, details given are only for the use of this giveaway and not shared to anyone else. Details will not be kept once the giveaway has ended.

In the past, usually I will email everyone that has entered, just to tell them they are in the draw, but if quite a lot have entered, I may not be able to email you all, as I usually would. If this is the case, don’t think you have been overlooked, you will have been added to the draw.

Good luck to everyone who enters.

Why I don’t want to drive again

As much as I enjoyed the experience and I knew what was right for me; driving an automatic car, I don’t plan to drive a car again.
I have said that it was because of money; knowing I could not afford to run a car and this is true. But it’s not the full reason. I was struggling to the idea of continuing to drive, since the death of my cousin, Sandra and her husband, Michael.
When I failed my second driving test, because I got too close to parked cars, too many times, this examiner also gave me some other feedback about my driving behaviour. Although it hurt and I had not had any conversation of this kind from my driving instructor because he said the total opposite of this, which is obvious that sat navs played a huge part in the way I drove that day. I was originally still determined to have a third test regardless. When I told a family member about this driving instructor, he said it sounds like you had someone like I had years ago. This was described in a way, without adding any swearing to it and said not to let that stop me. I said it didn’t, I just don’t want to get behind the wheel no more since losing my family members. I also refuse to drive while sat navs are part of the test, because I personally would not use one. I don’t want distraction off the road.
But, although not being able to afford to run a car, no matter how I many times I rechecked my budget, even if I could afford it, I rather that money go to a holiday, than running a car. With losing my cousin and her husband to a careless driver, even if I could afford to run a car, I just don’t want to be behind the wheel more so, since losing them. He understood, but I was surprised I had this conversation, as I thought I had made it clear enough I wasn’t driving again. But nevertheless, as I have said before, the driving lessons and the whole experience of it, has not been a waste.

So this is the full reason, why I have no intention of driving again.

More experiences

Now I know what my options are in regards to living in a home, which for me is private renting, until one day I am in a council property, my next step is more experiences. There are things I want to do, but because of trying to save every penny, meant some experiences were put on hold. Although I still need to save while private renting, instead of saving every penny and preventing myself doing some of these things, I can start to save for the experiences now, for where I need to have the money for some of these things.
I don’t need to put anymore in my ISA, as I have enough in there for the unexpected and to cover moving costs, but I will put in now and again. Where I chose originally that this year would be my last holiday, now it won’t need to be, so I plan on having at least one holiday next year, but if I get to have two, then great. That’s if they don’t clash.

So what experiences would I like to do?

The following I would like to do, I am not going to be doing them within the next year I would like to add. There is no time limit on these, but it’s something I would like to do now and in the future. I may feel I want to add something else to this list later, so it may be a post I would bring up again and certainly something I will need to make a note of, so I don’t forget this list.

So on to my list of experiences I would like to do, which may not sound a big deal to you, but some will push me out of my comfort zone.

  • Holiday back to Brighton, next year.
  • Holiday back to Torquay next year, if it doesn’t clash, otherwise I will be going the year after.
  • Ride on a moped. (This will be out of my comfort zone.)
  • Travel on the train to Skegness. (This will be out of my comfort zone.)
  • Travel on train to Oxford (When I have done the Skegness one first. This will be another out of my comfort areas still though.)
  • Making my own way to some areas that require public transport. Although not far, because I have to find my own way, it will be out of my comfort zone and raise my anxiety.
  • To go on a mini version of the London Eye. (Out of my comfort zone big time, because I hate heights.)
  • To see the sun rise.
  • To see the sun set.
  • See Newquay, Cornwall and Devon.

As I say, this list is for what experiences I would like to do at some point and there is no time limit on it.

I shall cross them off, when I have done them.

Are there life experiences you’d like to to do?

To have a home

When I am private renting, although past places when renting I have made it a home, now it doesn’t seem home. This feeling is based on renting a private house. I have spent money in the garden to make it home, only for me to move for what ever reason. It annoys me, the money I spent. It’s not like I can pick up a garden and take it with me, including the fencing. Even if my garden were full of container pots, like I was originally doing where I currently live, it would cost me extra in removals to move it. So now, when it comes to moving again, if renting privately, it will be just flats I am looking at, so I have no responsibility of a garden. Also, private renting is expensive and you always have to prepare the possibility of moving. But if I was in a council property, it would feel more like home. I would be in the property knowing I would never have the worry of having to move, because you have no worry of them selling the roof over your head for example and there would be no worry of fees you have to pay each time you move into a private property.

I have talked about saving money to hope to buy. But this is only because of my current situation of private renting. Buying would feel like home and it wouldn’t matter what I spent on it making it mine, because it would be my mine.

Council property would be home

I have talked about it here already and in a past post that being in a council property would feel more like home and the reasons why. But I won’t say it won’t fill me with dread. This is due to a bad experience, that readers here who originally followed me from my deaf blog will know what I experienced. Due to the issues I had which resulted in me losing weight quickly through the stress of it, all because of a neighbour in the flat below and the visitors he used to get, my life there was hell. So as much as I want a council property, it doesn’t mean there won’t be anxiety behind it, till I know that where ever I will be, will be better than before. But if I happen to have a garden, I won’t do anything other than get someone to cut the grass, until I really know I have a lovely area to live in.

Being realistic

I have been seeing what I could put away based on either renting in a council flat, or if I am lucky getting a reasonably priced private flat, similar to council prices. Although I could put quite an amount away, realistically, I am not going to be able to buy my own property. So council property will be the way to go for me. I am not gutted by this, so hopefully I will be in a council place one day. Until then, it’s renting privately. All I want is the feeling of home.
I have queried about a one bed flat recently, which the rent is what I consider cheap. I have emailed the person directly who I was in communication with, when I was interested in a flat before. He’s on holiday and won’t be back until next week, when I am in holiday. I could email the estate agents directly for someone else to deal with my query, but I will wait for his response. The flat has been empty that I have been aware of since viewing the other flat, with a drop of price in rent I have noticed during the time it has been advertised. They have it advertised as unfurnished, but really they should have advertised it as part-furnished, as there are odd bits of furniture appearing in the photos and they mention the wardrobe in the description. I am asking them to see if the landlord would get rid of the furniture that is mentioned and shown in the photographs, should I be interested in the property. I have also asked if the landlord is looking for a tenant who is wanting to rent for either a few years, or much longer. This and a few other questions. The area where the flat is, is in the same area where I viewed the other one. I know it is a quiet area, so reassuring for me. If I did end up having this flat and the decor looks as it does on the photos, then the flat needs a little tlc. But a coat of fresh paint will fix this and make it feel home.

Challenging a need and a want

With me using my mobile phone more, for accessing the internet, with this being the way I access the internet at home, I am noticing my phone cannot cope with it.
It’s not the network, which I quickly ruled out and the phone I have, which I bought second-hand, cannot be updated to the latest browser.
I also see, after comparing to a phone I intend on buying, after looking at different ones before choosing, that the new phone will be better than my current one, for my needs. Better processors inside the phone and up-to-date android system.
In the past, the last couple of occasions I have bought phones second-hand, but this time I intend to buy new.

So I know I need a new phone and I will allow myself a new phone, with this being my way of accessing the internet now, whether via my own network, or WiFi.

But this is now where I challenge my needs and wants.

I don’t want to just draw out savings, to buy this phone. So what am I going to do?

Well, this is simple, but it also the challenging part for me. I am going to have to sell something.

And this being you ask?

My Macbook Air laptop.
I have not used this much, since I bought my desktop Apple desktop computer, which is also second-hand. The Apple desktop I have, I watch dvd’s on, as better sound for me, even though I still use my subtitles, like I would with a TV. It’s a bigger screen compared to the laptop too.
I occasionally use my phone’s hotspot with this and if I was ever to have home internet again in the future, I rather do it through this.
The desktop is my entertainment. So it is obvious to me, what to let go. The challenging part is letting go, but I knew one day I would do this, because there is no need to carry a laptop around me for WiFi, when my phone can do this and why keep something that doesn’t hardly get used, or probably not at all later?

If I want the new phone, then I need to fund it by selling what I no longer need. By looking where I plan to sell my laptop for cash, this should cover for the phone I plan to buy. But if it’s not quite enough, then only a small amount will be needed, to cover the difference. Once I know I am ok with the new phone, I shall sell the old one at the same place for cash, which I see I will get more than I expected for. The money from that, will go in my savings.

I am not a gadget person, but although I love the laptop still, it’s not getting used like it once was. Something I no longer need can’t be left just lying around, it would start to create clutter in my eyes. So as it is no longer wanted, I will sell this for the phone that I need, otherwise I would not allow myself the phone.

Frugal Living – part 3

A difficult month money-wise, between last post and this. My budget did not go to plan either – money I wanted to save, I ended up touching. I did end up putting some away, but not what I originally planned. I suppose I should be thankful that I did put something away, because I wasn’t expecting it to happen.

Starting to freeze my bread

I know a few of my friends do this and just take out what bread they need. I have just started doing this myself now and it makes it so much easier for me, than I realised. I wish I did this sooner. I have been careful in the past when buying bread, to reduce wastage. But doing it this way, is much easier I have discovered and I totally recommend it.

Do you freeze your bread and only take out what you need?

My monthly phone contract

I ran out of internet allowance on the final week, so I had to buy an add-on. This did not help my budget and I hope to not do this on next month’s. I do use wifi, but because of where I was and what I needed to do, I had to get one.

No more cling film

Now I have no microwave, I don’t need to buy anymore cling film, when I run out. The remainder I have, I have had since last year because I hardly used it. I don’t know how much I have left, as I have not really looked. But I would not be surprised if I still had this box next year.

What I am not allowing myself to buy

You may remember the book review I did, “The Year of Less,” by Cait Flanders. I’m using one of her tips I have not used before and that’s creating a list of items I am not allowed to buy, because I have plenty of it.

What I have banned myself from buying:

  • Perfumes
  • Moisturisers
  • Shampoo
  • Nail varnish

I meant to share this in an earlier frugal living post.

If you liked this post, you can find past frugal living posts by scrolling either to the right, or further down, depending on whether you are viewing my page from laptop, or a mobile device, clicking on frugal living, under the categories.

Reflections since as the healing journey continues

Come this Friday, it will be two weeks since the court case. (Post here on that for new followers to my blog, or in case you missed it.) As I said in this post, my painful healing journey starts.
The first week was very painful and dark. Towards the end of that week, I started to laugh with the ladies at work, whether banter was started by them, or at times, myself. But laughing was painful. I could feel deep pain inside me, even though I was laughing. As you know from the second post link, if you have read this before, I had a day trip to Twycross Zoo and I had to make myself go. Even when I was there, I found after a couple of hours that I really wanted to go home, until I hung around the monkeys, watching them. They helped pass the time with their antics and made it a little more bearable. But by the afternoon I really wanted to go and I was outside the zoo till the coach arrived.

After my day trip at Oxford last Saturday, I felt more relaxed I noticed and I felt like I had a holiday for a week, not a day trip,because I felt so refreshed. So I think this was where my moods changed for the better.

There are times I am hit by waves unexpectedly. Each a different size wave from the other, with the occasional dark cloud. I am feeling a little emotional as I write this. I know getting over this will take time, because I have been through difficult times before and I got through them.

As I think more about the person who’s careless driving caused their deaths. As much as I know he is suffering and never will forget that day, I still think he should have had a jail sentence. Not the ten years for each person as originally I felt, but the six months he narrowly missed. But this cannot be changed.

I heard from the local Councillor. He plans to email me back with a full detailed response later, but until then, he felt also best to email me now with something in short. I will share these responses later in a post of its own after, hearing from him later.

 

 

Email I sent to local Councillor

I mentioned in ‘I won’t rest until it is 30mph,’ how I had emailed my local Councillor, about my feelings of Sandra and Michael deaths and the road they died.
I realised today, after sending yesterday, that my local Councillor was not the best idea and it needed to be the Councillor for the area where they lived, that I was given originally. So I sent an email back to my local Councillor and, said I was writing to someone else about this matter and to whom. I then sent an email to him, as I had written before.

Although the tragic accident is public, I have withheld some information, because I do not want to give it out regardless. This is also respecting family privacy, while I get my feelings off my chest.

Dear (name withheld)

I am writing to you to share my feelings about the deaths of my cousin and her husband; Sandra and Michael (last name and name of places witheld.)

They both died in a tragic accident on (Place name withheld), when walking back home with their shopping. What has made this worse for me, is that until I attended court on, I did not know until then exactly what happened. I found out about their deaths the day after it happened via social media. The police were great who were there on court day, each talking to me about the accident and one who was investigating the accident, shown me the evidence of the crime scene and explained how they came to the conclusion they did.

This now brings me to say that (place name withheld) should be 30mph all the way through.

Where Sandra and Michael were killed, that part of the road was 60mph.

It’s been proven you can’t drive down that road anywhere near that speed limit without losing control of your car.

Two people I loved dearly and were both in good health, died, because someone lost control of their car, while under that speed limit.

Their final years have been robbed from them and their families.

I know how dangerous that road is as I have walked down it many times. I have felt the drag from a passing car, while on the pavement, nearly putting me into that road.

Both Sandra and Michael were walking on the pavement, when they were killed.

The speed limit on this road is out of date and this now needs to be changed to 30mph. You cannot rely on the individual driving.

Since the deaths of Sandra and Michael, there has been a Facebook page set up for them called, “For Sandra and Michael,” which a friend is keeping me updated on, as I don’t do Facebook.

I have learnt since their deaths, that they have been campaigning to get this speed limit dropped, amongst other things, since I was a teenager.

While that road remains at 60mph, no one is safe whether walking on pavement, or driving.

Does the council want more deaths?

Sandra and Michael (last name withheld) are not a number, or a stastic. They are people. They were enjoying their retirement.

They had a smile every time I seen them. Their rays of sunshine have now gone, because someone was careless with their driving and because the speed is currently at a dangerous 60mph, for that road.

I want to see 30mph all through and I won’t rest until I see it.
When is the council going to change the speed limit, on this road?
Regards

(and my name at the end, as I would address myself when writing, or emailing.)